I‘m living in Grand Theft Auto. Shame I’m not a hard drug dealing bad-ass to match, a yuppy northerner will have to suffice.

Overview

I found the main centre of San Andreas island a little shabby, I mean for island life it’s good touristy. However, head round to the other side of the island along the east coast and you’ll find something seriously exquisite. Miles of golden sand beaches with wooden huts serving up burgers and cocktails. Now we’re talking. I spent most of my time exploring these areas and sacked off the main tourist beach

I stayed at Posada Native Lizard House, which was a bit back from the main hussle and bustle of the town centre, a charming little place with private rooms and a kitchen. The owners, super chilled and welcoming.

First day I got the chicken bus, everyone loves a chicken bus, along to the beach just passed San Luis and immediately my gob dropped at paradise. Within 30 mins I’d picked up weed and found the one and only Star Kitchen serving fresh fish burgers. Good god they were incredible, it was a cheat day. My decision was made that this was the hangout area.

Just chilling on these beaches, walking the length of them and smoking some seriously strong weed is enough to satisfy you for days. One evening I wandered up to La Loma, the view point of the island. It was a decent walk but not much to see from top if I’m honest.

With a strong passion for scuba diving I had a little gander at some options but decided to wait until Providencia after doing a little research and by god I’m glad I did. Wow! You can check that out why the wow here

Getting to Providencia, the better of the two islands, is simple via the catamaran speed boat at the port. Head down the day before and buy your ticket.

You can get to San Andreas via a flight from Bogota or Cartagena. Although it’s off the coast of Nicaragua it’s still classed as Colombian and the culture screams it. Being Geordie my accent is doesn’t hold the finest queens English but the locals on San An and Providencia speak a whole other madness altogether. It’s called Criole and it’s mental.


Do’s

  • Stay at the small charming Posada Native Lizard House
  • Visit La Regatta at the port for some fine dining in a beautiful place
  • Stars kitchen for the fresh fish burgers are a must
  • Go to Providencia from here, it’s better. In fact it’s the best paradise island I have ever been to
  • Scuba dive, these two islands have some of the best waters I’ve ever experienced
  • Take the local chicken bus and explore all the islands beaches
  • Head to the port and book your ticket to Providencia a day or two before for the boat as it gets full Walk up to the view point in the middle if you’re bored one evening

Don’ts

  • Stay in the centre of San Andreas, it’s touristy, stay on the outskirts
  • Go to the main beach more than once, the other side of the island hosts better one and easy to access via a chicken bus

If you’d like to learn to box there’s a prison style boxing club just outside the main centre with some awesome geezers who’ll teach you a thing or two.


Tips for healthy eats

  • These islands mainly consist of beach days and whenever it’s big beach beach day I always consume quite a lot for breakfast. A two full egg and four egg white veg omelette with a protein shake and oats (after a morning workout). Fruit, tuna and nut snacks then suffice for lunch until a good evening meat dish.
  • The fish dishes here are to die for. Huge ceviche’s, lobsters and crab.
  • There’s an awesome Thai restaurant if you walk round to the right of the main beach near Edificio sunrise beach apartments (sorry I’ve forgot the name) that serves up fresh produce at a good price.
  • La regatta serves up quality food on the sea front but you pay for it.
  • Mister Panino also has amazing quality food in a nice indoor environment.
  • Captain Mandy for large fresh fish dishes.
  • Star kitchen for fresh fish burgers on the beach front.

How to get meat for that protein hit

  • A little down the road from Posada Native Lizard House you’ll stumble upon a local supermarket selling veg, fruit and MEAT woohoo. Great for cooking up your own dishes.
  • The mentioned restaurants give you too much fish if anything, so you won’t be spoilt for choice.

Where to exercise

There’s little parks with exercise bars all along the harbour front and coast line if you go right from the main beach. Perfect for your own little area to exercise. There’s also a boxing gym along there. I’m talking prison style with graffiti under a concrete arch. Incredible. Cheap to train and learn.

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TRX Traveller

Well pet, I’m a Bakewell Tart fiend, straight talking (with a slight twang), nutrition nutter, fond exercise go’er and surfing enthusiast. Visual creativity and fitness are my career and travelling my passion. So I decided to mix them, permanently, and left the London grind for a life of nomad travel. This is where I document it, like a hamster stashing his nuts. I hope you find my destination writings helpful, my nutrition posts informative and my workouts energising. Drop me a message on Insta anytime. Adam. P.S Find me here:

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